Why I wish I had a mentor? Because life is short, and there is not much of it to live, yet it demands so much to accomplish, I wish I had a mentor. Not just when I am stuck with a domain-specific problem, in a narrow field where I cannot even stretch my arms and free my legs, but I wish I had a mentor to know the places where I should go, instead of struggling to find peace. Who would teach me to create my own pothole of mud in a field, to escape the constant attack of life's flies, if I were a buffalo. Who would teach me how to wag my tail and enjoy munching a mouthful of grass amidst the chaos of life. As I am inexperienced, anxious, and isolated when it comes to insecurities, I feel unsure about how to spend the rest of this life. Am I even doing the correct thing, which is judged by myself at the end of life? Or am I just wasting my time chasing rabbits that run away from me? Would a kind-hearted mentor provide me with insight and tips to make my pretty boring, ordinary life an unimaginably happy affair effortlessly? Not by falsified advice but by example, would he/she not guide me? Why should you have a mentor? Imagine you're an elite athlete. At some point in your professional career, beyond basic skills and regional tournaments, you would need a mentor to push you an extra mile into the national and international level. I am not talking about your coach. I am talking about someone who would inspire you, be compassionate about your progression, and only wish good for you, with relevant background experience in what you're experiencing, to identify and foresee your limitations, and to help you safely navigate across the unknown waters. Someone full of character like a pilot who trains pilots, a navigator who instructs a captain of a ship, a panel of advisors to a ruthless dictator. Would you not want such a person to exist? I am not talking here about self-help gurus who try to scavenge on your success. I am talking about a victorious person who has nothing but to give to society what he experienced in life, with the generosity of a philanthropist. A mentor: https://unsplash.com/@joshsonnenberg Advantage of having a mentor. Advantages are many. In early life, we were like a bunch of kids thrown into pools and asked to swim; if not, we would drown in life. We were like dandelions floating in the air, looking for fertile grounds to plant our seeds and grow our roots. If anyone was present during these golden days, we wouldn't waste our time. Someone who picks up our character and channels our positive energy into unexpected routes we did not even think possible. Consider Usain Bolt, the fastest 100-meter runner on the planet. If you screen all the people on earth for their running ability, you would at least find 100 more men and even a few women who can run faster than Bolt. These are the odds, but all those talented individuals are doing something without living up to their full potential, as they do not have guidance. They lack some ingredient in their soup, which they can never know without the fourth-dimensional look from an external interpreter. A mentor would just give that, as he/she is someone more experienced than you, has lived more life than you, and has more domain knowledge, which is transferable from other disciplines. Company, inspiration, advice, and non-judgmental feedback which you're free to follow if deemed true. (At the end of the article, you will find a full list of roles of a mentor - AI generated) How to find a mentor? You may have someone in your mind whom you wish to have as your mentor. But this is only a potential unless you act upon it. They are busy, they value their time, but if you are keen on building, most good mentors are approachable. You just need to ask relevant questions specific to your problem. Without asking "Can you be my mentor?" which is a huge commitment for them, you can ask, "I am working on this project, or becoming this in the future, is there any insight you can provide me from your experience?" This will give them the value of status, which someone cannot buy from a market. I am sure not many people would turn down such a request unless they are really busy or occupied. But not everyone is capable of teaching or guiding, so when they speak, you will have to be wise and choose what appears relevant for your path. Instead of one, you can have a board of mentors for your career, technical aspect, intellectual, creative, and business endeavors. What if You cannot find a mentor? Is there alternative? I would say a mentor is an asset that is irreplaceable. Because we are all biased in our own narrative, only an external observer can provide us with a bird's-eye view. However, the best alternative, I would say, is to read books written by them, read biographies, and study interesting people from the past. Critically analyze your own day each and every day, as if you are viewing from a distance outside your own ego, trying to figure out how others see you. If you ask your friends an honest question while having dinner, they will definitely give a critical analysis of your situation. Although these actions are helpful, they are not as sustainable as having a mentor. A mentor is like an emerald you dig up from deep underground and hold onto until you die, as they provide value to your life in many ways. AI generated list of advantages of having a mentor (Looks comprehensive :) Shortens the learning curve You can learn from someone else's years of experience instead of making every mistake yourself. Provides perspective When you are stuck in a problem, a mentor can look at it from outside and offer a different way of seeing it. Helps you avoid mistakes They can warn you about common mistakes before you encounter them. Challenges your thinking A good mentor doesn't simply agree with you. They may ask, "Why do you think that?" or "Have you considered this possibility?" Provides accountability Telling someone your goal can make you more likely to actually work toward it. Helps identify your weaknesses You may not notice your own blind spots. A mentor can point them out constructively. Builds confidence Knowing that someone experienced believes you can improve can make difficult goals feel more achievable. Offers practical knowledge Books can teach principles, but mentors can explain how those principles work in real situations. Helps with important decisions A mentor can help you examine the consequences of different choices without necessarily making the decision for you. Expands your network Experienced mentors may introduce you to people, organizations, opportunities, or communities you wouldn't otherwise encounter. Shows what the future can look like Seeing someone who has already travelled part of the path gives you a concrete example of what is possible. Provides emotional perspective During setbacks, a mentor can remind you that failure, uncertainty, and slow progress are often normal parts of development.

Tech Addict I am addicted to screens and technology. Just like you, I am a zombie to the algorithms. It is not my fault, as these tech companies like FB, Google, and Microsoft have spent billions of dollars researching human behavior and hijacking our natural thought patterns and boredom cycle to feed new information they want directly into our brains. So, let's be careful not to lose our happiness to someone else's dream. However, counteracting this force is also possible if we become choosy in what we are going to search, look at, and remember. This is why I bombard my blog every day with new ideas that are worth remembering, instead of calisthenic ads. My record keeping habit Everyone needs record keeping. If you are going to be a king, there must be a record of all your peasants, taxpayers, and numbers of soldiers, their place of living, etc., etc. Otherwise, your memory will not suffice. Part of any professional body is to maintain good records; otherwise, sophisticated systems cannot function. So, if you are trying to live a life, other than like a monk, you need records to keep everything in line. Memory is notoriously unreliable, and every civilization started with some form of record keeping at its core. So, when I started writing this blog, I needed a place to keep my thoughts as they would arise in unusual places, like in the bathroom or when out for a walk. It seems the phone was the correct place to go, so I saved these thoughts on the phone in a note app. It was a harmless habit at first. Other than ease of access, there was no advantage over a book. But recently, I have noticed that this system has more problems than a traditional book. So, I moved to pen and paper. pen and paper: https://unsplash.com/@atelierbyvineeth Why I moved to pen and paper. These apps are too complicated; a simple notebook is elegant by design. There are no unusual pop-ups demanding your attention when your book is open in front of you, but with the phone, I would always end up watching YouTube after 5 minutes of writing. There are so many other apps demanding attention that there were not enough times per day I was motivated to open the note app. The pen and paper feel remarkably physical. After a few days of continuous journaling, I can see ideas in my brain have skyrocketed in number. There are so many things that I have noted down, that during the day, I often come back to it to savor myself with a thought. I can call it a treasure trove, a fertile ground, and a philosophical garden. Part of the reason why lies in its structure. I can flip through an entire month of thoughts in a few seconds. Every thought is in a designated place, and I can create maps and connections of ideas, as they are all there staring at me each time I open the book. Naturally as it is very rewarding act to put it on paper, it has become a habit. I can literally see the notebook is getting bigger each and every day creating an illusion of continuity. I would not go back to the notetaking on the phone. I am sure, if you are a person, you should do the same. Let us give less opportunity to these tech scammers, to steal our time. A book is a proper place for a thought to be planted. I wonder it would become a forest in a decade.

Rosy, Red received a gift for her birthday last year. It was a set of dominos. They were colorful, with all the seven rainbow colors. And there were some colors which were not even in rainbow. Like brown and black and white. Rosy loved to play with them in the living room. And when she did, she made the whole living room available for her. But she had a problem. Before she puts her last domino on the line something would happen most of the time. There would be a wobble, and accidently a domo would fall. Mostly the one she is trying to put straight. And dominos, they do fall one after the other. And everything would fall before she finished building them ! Dominos "Ah they fell again" She cried. "I can't do it, that was almost the last domino. I wanted to see it fall when I hit it." She felt deeply unsatisfied inside. "Dominos are meant to fall, that is why they are called dominos" Father said. He was reading a book on the couch occasionally watching Rosy play. "I know, but I wasn't ready. It always falls accidently and it takes so long to build again" "Maybe you should be more careful when you do the last pieces" "I WAS careful. I was very careful. It still falls. Father, can you help me?" "Hmmmm.." "Maybe you should pause, and keep gaps" "What do you mean keep gaps?" "Let me show you Rosy" So, father got off from his comfy couch finally to help Rosy with her dominos. This time he kept gaps in between streaks of dominos. And Ooops, one was wobbly and fell. Half of the dominos fell. But half remained in formation, as there was a "PAUSE" "That's great! shouted Rosy with excitement. Everything did not fall due to the Gap. Now I get it!" "There you go Rosy. You just have to fill the gap, at the very end, so you have less chance to knock it all at once." So Rosy kept working with her dominos, until she was bored and went to the kitchen to bother her mother again. And at night she wrote in her Diary about GAPS. GAPS: GAPS are spaces we keep when we build long streaks of dominos. Father told me how to keep a gap. So, when dominos fall accidentally, which happens a lot of times, they stop at gaps. I wonder where else I should keep gaps? Maybe I will come back and write it here when I see one again. I will made the biggest train of dominos because of the GAPS today. Lily white stories by MML Dominos

-lily white story - Once upon a time there lived little Rose. She lived by the river with her family. As they lived far away inside the woods, she was lonely. There was no one to play, no one to talk. So, she used to walk to the river and talk to herself. She talked about stars, The moon at night, she talked about the trees and butterflies. She talked about her loneliness. And one day, a fish came to her feet, and he spoke. "Oh my dear, Little Rose. Would you be my friend? Hearing your stories and pretty songs, I wanted to be your friend." Rose was surprised. She had never seen a talking fish. But she was enormously happy that he could talk. She jumped in joy and spoke. "Of course, my lovely little fishy friend, you are my friend from this moment on. What is your name?" Rose by the window "I am Freddie, I am one-of-a-kind fish." So, the Freddie the one-of-a-kind fish and Rose became friends. And they met almost every day by the river and talked about things and neither of them were lonely anymore. As time went by, one evening when Rose was about to go to the river, there came a thundering storm. It got dark like the night, and it started to rain and wind, started to blow. Trees swayed this way and that way. And Rose could not leave the house to meet her friend. She sat on her bed by the window and with a sigh looked at the water that flowed down the gutters. A rainy day Rain and thundering did not stop next day. Even day after that. And she forgot how many days she was stuck inside the house. Rose was lonely again. And after so much rain, the river started to overflow. Little by little water spread along the riverbank and in a matter of hours, it reached the window of Little Rose's home. And guess who came swimming along with the flood!. It was Freddie the One-of-a-kind fish. Rose was so happy having seen her friend by her window. After all, this was the first time Freddie came to visit her. They had loads and loads of things to talk about. Rainy day was not lonely anymore. So, once the flood water went down again, after rain stopped, Rose went to her father and made a gutter from the river to her window So Freddie could visit her any day he wanted. And they were never lonely again.

Ever since her mother made crepes for Lily she wanted to make them on her own, whenever she was hungry. So, the other day she wrote down the recipe on her diary. And kept it with her. One Saturday, she wanted to make some crepes. First, was to melt some butter into a bowl. That was easy, she just cut some butter put it in a bowl and heated it in the oven. Second was to crack an egg to another bowl. She hit the egg with back of the knife just like her mother asked to do. Kept it over the bowl and cracked it open with fingers. Oppps! suddenly the egg cracked with force and egg was spilled everywhere except into the bowl! Crepes :https://unsplash.com/@maxniceman "Oh dear" Mother said sympathetically, and Lily was sad. "Egg is spilled all over my frock, and on the floor, and I ruined your cooker mom. It is everywhere!" "Do not worry dear, why don't you go to the bathroom and change your dress, we will crack another egg" So, Lily white cleaned herself and let her mother crack the eggs and mix the ingredients. She did not want to do it anymore as she was very sad. "I am never going to crack the eggs; it is so hard!" So, Lily did not, crack the eggs next time they made crepes, or waffles, or anything which needed eggs to be cracked. It was about a fortnight later, they were at the kitchen, and this time Lily wanted to crack the eggs again. She had almost forgotten last time, what disaster it was to spill eggs all over the kitchen. And she cracked an egg and this time it was far worse. The egg was broken again with so much force that it even went on her hair. She had a full change of clothes and a bath, before eating "Mom made" crepes again. And she told rosy "I am never going to crack eggs ever again". "Oh, Lily that was just an accident, I want you to learn how to make crepes. So, we can make them whenever we are hungry. Grandma doesn't know how to make them, so when Mom is not there, we can do it with her" "Hmmmm... I will think about it. I will try one more time. Cracking eggs is the hard part!" So, in a few days, Lily was seen in the kitchen with her father this time. She wanted to show him how to make crepes. And once again she tried to crack an egg into the bowl. Blooooob... The egg did crack this time, half went into the bowl with butter, quarter of it on the floor and quarter of it spilled all over Lily's dress and even on her face. And it was a rotten Egg ! It was stinky like a dead rat. Lily was crying and everyone tried to console her. Rosy was looking at everything from the dining room with her nose closed. It was the worst of all. Project crepe was an utter failure. They stopped working in the kitchen. Father ran a bath on Lily and sprayed water on her, like she was a puppy. Half and hour rubbing with all kinds of soap did not make the odor go away. It took almost one day for it to completely gone. "I am never going to make crepes again" She was sobbing and crying. "I think you should try again Lily" "Why?, it is going to happen again" Lily said. "I know it is going to happen again, but what is the worst can happen? You have cracked a rotten egg! There is nothing worse than that. If you want to make crepes. I guess there is no way out. YOU NEED TO CRACK YOUR EGGS! " "Hmmmm.." It was only after another two weeks Lily finally cracked her own eggs, completely into the bowel. And she already knew how to do the rest. They did a cooking demonstration to Grandmother next day on "How to make Crepes". There was a note on Lily White's diary, and it was about Crepes. How to make crepes Ingredients 1 cup (125 g) flour 2 eggs 1½ cups (360 ml) milk 2 tablespoons melted butter 1 tablespoon sugar (for sweet crêpes) ¼ teaspoon salt DO NOT PUT BAKING POWDER! Mix the ingredients, until it is smooth. Like mom says, no amount of butter is less or more. And no baking powder. After mixing I ask my mom or dad to cook it for me. Hardest part of making crepes is breaking the eggs. I am getting better at it. It is good that I did not stop after I cracked the rotten egg. Although I feel stinky when I remember it. We love crepes. Me and Rosy would never ever be hungry again when MOM is not here! The best part is how Rosy loves it when I make them instead of mother.

If you want to compare life to a game, baseball would be the one to go with. In baseball rules are simple, in life it is the same. However, the way we should be playing the life game would be slightly different from what happens in a baseball match. You may say, wait a minute. Why am I reading this? Why should I know about rules of the baseball and life? Life is like a baseball game - Scoring with Homeruns. The fact is I do not care, if you like baseball or not. But rules of life we all have to know, as we all are part of it inherently. If you do not trust me, ask Jeff Bezoes. Everyone knows him, and he is kind of a modern legend. He did talk about life as a baseball game. "In baseball, if you hit a home run, maximum you can score is four runs. But in business if you hit a home run, it could mean 100 points, 1000 points or even a billion." If you feel like demotivated to get up from the bed, to work on your start-up or engage in a new skill. Even to stop scrolling and start reading when you have five minutes of free time, remind yourself of a homerun. The fact that you haven't scored a home run ever doesn't mean it is not a possibility. As future is formulated by steps you have taken today. So that creative project you have been thinking all your life is the correct thing to do. Baseball How to hit homerun every time you play. Is it possible to hit a homerun in every play? Yes, it is. As in life compared to baseball you get unlimited number of throws. There is no strike-out rule in life. This is a very important rule to remember. It talks about being consistent, repetitive and iterative in what you're doing. As there are unlimited number of swings you can take, and if you are prepared to swing at ball after ball, continuously throughout your career without giving up with reasons of failure, ultimately, you will hit a home run. It is just a mathematical probability. The odds of you hitting a homerun would increase rapidly after a certain period of time, just like boiling water. Once your skills developed enough energy and momentum, it will take off like Space X origin. The trick is to know this outcome beforehand and keep swinging at every ball the life throws at you. So, what are these unlimited opportunities? Every day you wake up is an opportunity to do something, you love doing. Making someone else happy and sharpening your creative edge. Every spare hour you have in a day is an opportunity for you to read about something you always craved to do. With vast experience databank, things will start to make sense if you are willing to put an effort. Give something for your mind to work on every day. If you are a writer, every day is an opportunity to write. If you are a singer every day is an opportunity to compose great music. If you are an athlete every day is great opportunity to train your muscles and brain. Make sure whatever you are trying to do has no upper bound to it. If you foresee, a limitation, on your maximum score of a homerun, you may move onto a different game altogether (Power law). It is like changing a broken bat. But your swings are going to be with same enthusiasm, and power. What happens if you do not swing? Well, nothing bad. Your team would lose. You will be scoreless in life. But you will never regret that you haven't swung at every opportunity when you could have done. The perfect ball comes really fast and there is only a split-second time for you to swing at it, unless you are skilled by enough failed attempts you will not connect it with enough power (Champion Mentality). Forget all the opportunities you have missed. Start from today, I can guarantee you the future is going to be far more entertaining than watching a batter who leaves ball after ball in fear. So, are you ready to play some baseball today? :)

Rosy, red was bored. She was smart but had a habit of watching too much television. When it is turned off, that was when she really felt bored. Her toy basket was full of stuff that she didn't use anymore. Boring stuff. She had plenty of unread books on her shelf, but she was too bored to pick any of them. It wasn't rainy last night she could walk outside - But she was too bored. So, she sat on the couch and started complaining. Mother was cooking in the kitchen. "MOM, I am bored." "Why don't you play with your sister". "She is doing her homework, and there is nothing for me to do." She was still complaining when she opened the fridge for 20th time of the day. There was nothing new in the fridge, just like in her life. Last time she was not bored was when she went a safari into the woods Looking for Elephants! How strange, there are no safaris and elephants at home. Not in the fridge anyway! Safari Elephants "What am I supposed to do? I finished all MY homework. And father doesn't bring us a pet, even if I said that 1000 times. Maybe a pet is Just what I need not to be bored." "Boring is actually Good Rosy. Do you know what I do when I am bored?" "What do you do when YOU'RE bored mommy?" "I sit on a chair with a pen and paper, stay being bored for a while" "Ok, then what happens" "You know Rosy, being boring is actually good. It is like having an empty canvass. You can start doing anything, when you are bored, you just need to give time it to figure out what to do" "I don't understand" "JUST SIT ON A CHAIR WITH A PEN AND PAPER. You will understand what I am saying" And off went Rosy red. She sat in her doll house with a pen and her diary. And she wasn't seen complaining more on that day, she was very busy and silent. She was seen searching for a Map of the World on her bookshelf, nobody knew why. She didn't tell anyone anyway. Looked like she knew how to stay Bored ! Forever. This is a part of her diary, the boring stuff that she wrote. Boring.. Boring.. Boring.. Boring.. La la la la la... La la la la la.. Boring.. Boring.. Boring.. Boring.. La la la la la.. La la la la la.. I wonder what Lily White is doing? Where is my Big coloring book? I used to love painting boats in it. And what is that noise coming from outside. I really want to go and check it out But I am still bored. Maybe a little less now. La la la la la.. Maybe I should write a story. That was fun last time I did it. Maybe I will write another story like Izzy and Nizzi I wonder Izzy ever came back home. What was that thing father said yesterday? hmmmmm He said Greenland is not so green. I wonder where Greenland Is Maybe I should check on the map book

Mind is a stupid machine. Trust me, earlier I thought mind is a brilliant machine. That can identify everything, even engage in abstract thinking like mathematics, and quantum physics, until I saw some scientists teach a group of pigeons how to diagnose breast cancer, in the accuracy of a qualified pathologist. Mind seems to be a stupid machine with a pigeon brain. The average random access memory capacity to remember something is about seven seconds. But I agree it is remarkable in some ways, as human brain is capable of making connections with those seven second memory locations than any other animal. As long as there are enough things previously memorized this process of pegging new information to older ones will happen throughout anyone's life. new information -> pegged to old information What is seen, read, and heard, is what is pegged. At the front end of this stupid machine, we have sensory doors to acquire new information. These seven-second-long bits of information is compared against the old information, if it makes sense, it will be pegged immediately, if not discarded immediately. In this regard we can say mind is efficient. Creating enough base knowledge is difficult (we call this schema). Especially when it is abstract. This is why children take ages to understand some information, which takes few hours for an adult to master. So, if you want to remember something, a piece of information, you have to make it relevant by thinking about its importance. This little step of trying to make connection is the actual learning. Mind Mapping: https://unsplash.com/@charlesdeluvio What is processed is what is pegged and mapped in the brain What is thinking? Thinking is nothing but processing previously pegged items in your brain. When nothing new comes into the front end of the stupid machine, it takes one item from the previous basket of items and jiggle around it with few more items. Once it makes connection it registers this back in memory locations. You can enhance this process by putting things on paper and drawing connections manually, as mind is not a big canvass to do it all by itself, a little bit of visualization would help. This process is called mind mapping. Exactly mimic what happens inside our brains. Fundamentally mind mapping is not about information, it is about connections and their relative importance. These are higher order thinking abilities everyone should have if they wish to get good output after thinking. (blooms taxonomy) Process of pegging -> making connections / mapping. What is processed is what manifested as identity and behavior change Something remarkable happens at the end of this process. Once you have gained enough information and juggled with it enough times the process of retrieval becomes very easy. After some time when new information is met at the front end of the machine, the mind will easily make connections, and it becomes a positive feedback loop. Whenever there is a similar problem which needs similar answer, mind will pick up clues, and your problem-solving ability will efficient and faster. These happen automatically, but you have the ability to choose what information goes in (by making sure to engage in new and relevant subjects) and also by improving the process of thinking by helping mind to map. Slowly the information will start to change your behavior and make your life, measurably better each year, making your new year resolutions a reality. mapped relevant information -> gets retrieved at correct times -> changes behavior

Yes. Lily White had a fight for the 100th time of the day. She was seen crying in the corner sobbing. It seems this time it was too much for her. "Why are you crying Lily?" Father asked. Lily: "Rosy doesn't let me take the pillow" "Why do you want the pillow?" Lily: "I wanted to make a house. A pillow house with chairs and bedsheets. I wanted three pillows but Rosy is taking my Pillows to make one of her own." "Why don't you look for another pillow? Or something else? A cushion perhaps?" Lily: "That doesn't work. I need that pillow? It was my idea first, and I found the pillow first. And now she want's THAT pillow, and I cannot make mine. She always does That!. Lily Complained." "Why don't you work as a team?" Lily: "What is a team?" "A team Lily is when two people start building something together. When they work together they can make something bigger, better and stronger, more people will join. Usually it is a far more wonderful than trying to make something alone." Lily: "Oh. I have an Idea! I can make a bigger house If we both got together. She has better chairs than mine. But she wouldn't share with me." Father: "Oh, that's an easy fix. You can just ask her politely. And you might have to explain her a little bit as her small brain cannot understand how teams are working." Lily white forgot she was crying. And after the talk with her father she has been seen building a house almost the size of the living room, with Rosy Red. They had a wonderful time living inside their pretty little house they built as a team. And in her diary she put a note that night. A house Lily White diary : Teams. Today, I learned that if I want to build something bigger and better, I need to make a team. It is wonderful to be in a team. I build a bigger house. I wonder what else is built by teams? Maybe those bridges and buildings across the town are bult by teams. How nice if I could be in a team one day? Building bigger and better things. Oh, maybe I am already in a team. Me and Rosy Red. Tomorrow I will ask mother and father to join my team. A team of Four, so we can do wonderful things together.

A talent is a natural phenomenon Imagine a seed, A chestnut or a walnut. Once the seed is planted in a fertile ground, with enough water and sunlight, it will create a sapling. Which will eventually become a tree. There is no miracle in it. Nobody goes woooow.. look at that chestnut tree. I wonder how it came to exist? Nobody talks like that as there is no mystery to it. It is just a natural process with a sequence of steps involved, unraveled by the part of science called botany. But when we see an Olympic medalist, everyone will go Woooow. Look at that talent. How fast they run, or swim or throw a hammer? And we speak like they were born champions when they were kids. Which is far from the truth. It is really unfortunate we do not have a science called "Talent deciphering" to learn about the process of building a talent, so everyone can have one. Chestnut: https://unsplash.com/@georgeiermann A nut is not a tree; a Tree is not a nut. A child is not an adult; an adult is not a child. A child is exploring, learning, broadly experiencing everything in life. It seems it is exploring stage of life, compared to exploit stage of an adult. A child's life is random, chaotic, full of emotions and novel experiences. Adult on the other hand is more likely having developed patterns of behaviors. Limited exploring, but a lot of exploiting in whatever talents he/her had built over the childhood years. So, a nut is not a tree, a tree is not a nut. But sometimes, it is better for a tree to adapt a behavior of a nut if it feels like there is limited growth. Now with all the recourses, a tree has some novel advantages than a nut, in succeeding during a phase of exploring. Raw talent is not a true talent; a true talent is not a raw talent. If you are just starting with some skill you need to develop. A talent you need to explore. It is good to treat it as a starting talent. At this stage your main objective is to play around. There is no need to confine yourself to one task. You can try different versions. You can change your playground, as often, try new shoes, and fire your coach every month until you find a one who knows what they are doing. If something feels wrong, acknowledge this and move on. Do 10,20 30 different exercises and see which one fits you. There is no need to commit yourself until you resonate with your talent and conditions that you seek. However, experimentation should continue until such. If you find it all dull, maybe that skill you're trying to develop maybe not suited for you. Maybe you're just a walnut trying to become a chestnut. Once you find a true passion, capitalize on that until it becomes a true talent. Talent is A belief, a system, with iterative improvement These ideas may seem, abstract at first. As, it's just the broad picture of what happens in a career development. Individual actions that you have to follow may vary depending on the talent and your environment. However, what is more important is to note that this path is totally different from whoever had succeeded before you. As there are unlimited paths one can take, you cannot just blindly follow a role model and be successful. But there are few traits to those who do, regardless, and these are universal. Explore and Exploit is one such. Furthermore, the following. A belief - talented individual strongly believe they have ability to improve their talent, and it is in their willpower to do so. Later this belief will spill over to others. A system - They have built a system around them filled with actions, which handle failures, willpower and worry. Iterative improvement - In each iteration of their cycle of action they marginally improve on previous day, so there is a feeling of continuity and growth have the potential to compound over time.

Michel de Montaigne Philosophy. This famous philosopher from renaissance period from France is the one who popularized applying philosophy to live an ordinary life during his era (of course apart from Thales of Meletus). What use of philosophy is if it is not used to make lives better? Not just highly successful ones, but quite ordinary ones. If philosophers who entangle in intellectual disputes about origins of human existence just quarrel with their wives the moment they step into their homes, what is the point of the philosophy they preach? So, de Montaigne approached philosophy in a different framework, closer to yours and mine, the ordinary folk. He often asked himself, "What do I know?" to approach an intellectual humility to repeatedly reshape his own philosophy. This indeed tackled the problem of dunning Kruger effect, where you automatically assume intellectual superiority, when in reality only you know a little. So, he kept the skepticism alive by constantly trying to know himself. Learn from other cultures, and more importantly, trying to live the ordinary life he already has, than creating superior means and ends to it. A king sitting on Bum: https://unsplash.com/@ansiep “What do I know?” — Intellectual humility. Know yourself — Your own experience is worth investigating. Skepticism — Human reasoning has limitations. Tolerance — Other cultures and people may have perspectives different from yours. Live the life you actually have — Philosophy should help us live, not merely theorize. Even the kings sit on their bums. Even the kings when they want to sit, on their thrones have to use their bums for support. This just closes the gap between an ordinary life and a royal life. We all are born with human weakness, bums, and there is no way out from our limitations. We possess bodies prone to pain and sickness, we have constant hunger, and thirst. Our mental status fluctuates daily with no apparent reason, and we cannot function like machines, needs a rest now and again. If you'd be honest these ordinary human days are hardest to tackle. Consider an ordinary Tuesday, where you have to go to work and come home tired. Compare this with a day on a vacation, action packed with lot of movement and adrenalin. Spending the ordinary day skillfully and happily would be hard, as we need to figure out our own philosophy to do that. How come one go onto doing that? It doesn't really matter you are a king a farmer or a CEO. 1440 minutes - awareness is the key. A day has 1440 minutes. Most of them are very ordinary. If we just consider one minute, that will pass too quickly. But how many of yesterday minutes you were aware? one? two? five? If you were not aware, where have you been living all day yesterday. It doesn't matter what task you are doing, if you'd like to live a fulfilled ordinary life, you will have to be aware of where your awareness goes. What it felt like walking down the road, to the bus stop. What did you notice during the bus ride? How busy was it at work? When exactly did you feel hungry? Did you feel the taste of your lunch? It is better if you could just stop and take a note of your thoughts. Do not underestimate the power of living an ordinary life, as that is a gift by nature to every one of us. Maybe today is a good day to finally enjoy the life you have, more than the life you speculate of having.

Defaults. What you do automatically are basically your default. What do you do when you wake up early in the morning? Just curse yourself for getting late? Then that is your default. How about the first app you start when you get your hands on your phone? YouTube? then that is your default. How about the first thing you say when you meet your loved ones in your kitchen in the morning? That is your default too. Defaults are powerful when properly planned and placed, but they can be devastating, like corrosion on a knife, when unplanned and more disastrously let others decide your own defaults. Are they habits? Of course you can call them habits. But I would consider them at the end of a spectrum. The difference between them is subtle. One is heavily dependent on willpower and repetition, while defaults are by design, and control of the environment, fixed, not needed repetition. Habits <----> defaults. By definition defaults are things which happen when you do not deliberately choose. But repeated enough they can end up habits. And habits on the other hand if repeated enough would need less and less of willpower and can become default. If you already know what you're going to have on Monday night dinner, that is a default. But if you try to eat healthy food but do not yet know what it is, you can make it a habit. Defaults create less pressure when you are paralyzed by choice. Remember analysis paralysis? Defaults is the solution. Healthy bowl of Nuts. :https://unsplash.com/@abhishek_hajare Defaults do not need repetition. Not even thought. It is set by design in the system, already chosen for you. How I used defaults. When I was living alone briefly for a period of time, I developed my own defaults. I would go to a same shop on fixed dates and have same meals. It creates less friction and gives room for more important creative space for the mind, away from the clutter. How boring it is to go to a supermarket and compare the prices, of items from an aisle to aisle, getting paralyzed every day. Defaults and rituals will easily prevent the cognitive exhaustion. Defaults can not only be used for meal plans, but they can also be used anywhere anytime when there are things you routinely do. At the end of this article, I will give you a list of defaults you can use in common situations you face in everyday life. At least few of them will make sense to you. Beware of your default responses to emotions. More powerful is default responses of us to our emotions. What do you do when you are feeling, anger? Sadness? Loneliness? Success? As these are recurring themes of any life what we do triggered by these emotions matter a lot, when it comes to feeling good in life. As such, two people can differ markedly in their defaults when responding to anger. One can escalate their own anger, with filthy words, while other can just take a walk and reflect on him/herself making it an opportunity for improvement. But the basic feeling of anger remains same in these two individuals. The importance is you can plan your default behavior while you are calm sitting in your chair thinking. So, let's look through a list of items you can make defaults. Situation Common default Alternative conscious choice 🌅 Waking up Reach for the phone Phone on table when going to sleep Sit quietly for 2 minutes ☕ Morning Make the same drink Drink water first 📱 Notification Check immediately silent notifications for 6 hours per day. 🍽️ Hunger Eat whatever is easiest Eat an apple/ fruit per day 🚗 Driving Take the usual route Take a bus, same time 💬 Someone criticizes you Defend yourself Sing your favorite song 😡 Anger React immediately Sing your second favorite song 😴 Tiredness Scroll social media Wash your face, and read a book 💰 Receiving money Spend it normally automate investment 🛒 Shopping Buy what catches your attention Make a default grocery list. 🧹 Messy room Ignore it Keep one thing square. One trash away. 💻 Starting work Check email/social media Start the most important task 🧠 Difficult problem Avoid it Spend 5 minutes attempting it 📺 Free time Open YouTube/Netflix Write down your thoughts 🗣️ Conversation Talk about yourself Ask the other person a question 🚶 Walking Look at your phone Look at the sky and make a mental comment 🌙 Before sleep Keep scrolling Put the phone away 2 hours before. ❓ Uncertainty Assume an answer put it in a commonplace book ⚠️ Making a mistake Hide/explain it Buy yourself a treat. 🏆 Success Move immediately to the next goal Pause and appreciate it