Maybe It's inferiority Complex. Have you ever felt like you are not good enough compared to others? That you are a failure, disadvantaged, disabled, unlucky and unfortunate. You feel jealous of success of others but fail to take action as you're scared of criticism? Maybe you are suffering from an inferiority complex. If you are trying to prove you're better than others all time every day, then you will never be able to feel self-worth right now. As there will always be someone ahead of you from some parameter. You will be successful at career but fail at relationships, or health. Over time when ages accumulate you will see a lot of young people living happy lives, and you will ask why that is not me? Of course, maybe I am just talking about myself here. But I think feelings are universal and there can be a lot of people who feel the same way. Humility as an alternative Humility is a better alternative to maintaining inferiority complex. Humility means acknowledging your limitations and learning from others. You cannot deny your inherent disadvantages. Someone can be born in a better place with better resources and luck. But that doesn't say what you do doesn't matter. Life is so complex that there are unlimited paths to achieve same objective. One that perfectly suits your status, just at this point in time. Juggle your resources with humility and you will learn to do it smoothly. Sunsets Your role Models, what will they do? Take into account your role model. Strip him or her naked and put both of you in a desert and see what the difference between you and them is. What will both of you would do if you had to start with no resources? Or similar circumstances as such as you're in right now. Who is having more odds of success in that situation? I bet it is your role model who would do better. It is not because they have superhuman tongues to taste better. Not because they have 10 hands which work faster. It's not because they have eyes to see a future that you cannot see. Senses are same, resources are same, but they have a mindset which does not take any reason for failure. A mindset willing to take risks, and try again, humility to learn from others instead of inferiority complex that they are worse, and dwell on inaction. What should you do next? So next time when your mind takes a tour with you in a downward spiral do not listen to it. Just rise from your chair and take a walk in the nature. Get inspired by sunlight and fresh air which is given free of charge to anyone. Take the last dollar bill out of your pocket and enjoy a hotdog from a street vendor and feel the taste of it like a billionaire would do. Because you are rich, you are valuable, you are powerful as you are at the center of your own universe. There is no disadvantage between you and me other than a little bit of information and learned patterns of thinking. Once the mind is fresh and calm, you will see next steps. Take them slowly, as there is no hurry to death. And be fooled 1000 times. Don't you think that is a life worth living? Life filled with unlimited failed attempts. How boring it is to be successful on first attempt? Yesterday I saw a beautiful sunset from the roof of my house. And I felt alive looking at the slowly fading colors. I realized there had been 365 sunsets just like the one I am looking at right now, last year. Which I missed. What more do I need in life to feel successful other than observing what is happening right now? I am already rich with experience, given to me by the universe free of charge. So, I will let go of my inferiority complex of chasing success and watch the sunset again tomorrow, so I would have a rich life at the end of this year.

Life can be only understood backwards - Soren Kierkegaard Illusion of control. How much of your life is under your control? A lot, right? You are responsible for most of the things you do, and outcomes you create for yourself. You may believe that, If I just stop watching phone every minute, build a vision for myself and work smart, and disciplined myself, I can create a nice future for myself. This my friend is the illusion of control. Feeling of control, you feel after you exercise is real. But the control itself is not a real phenomenon. As the outcomes are always possible by loads and loads of underlying unknown factors. This is where most of the modern Gurus of success fail, as the philosophy of their teachings are not deep enough to include the underlying uncertainty of life. Why do we have an illusion of control when there is not much? Our brains are just machines to understand patterns. This ability is not unique. Animals and plants have some aspects of it, clearly modern AI has harvested it. When actions are followed by consequences, our brains pick up this pattern and create the illusion "Oh I created this outcome by following these rules" But life is just a complex affair like rolling a dice. In a macroscopic level it seems they are true. Consider following actions and consequences. Studying -> Increases your knowledge. Exercising-> affects your physical condition Writing -> Produces something you didn't have before Treating a disease -> can affect its course. Studying Do you not agree that your knowledge is a consequence of how much time and effort you are willing to put into your daily routine? It seems true and If I say this claim false, I would be a fool. So, I give that task to Soren KierKegard who once said, Life can only be understood backwards; But it has to be lived forwards. So, what is the myth about studying increases your knowledge. Here, you can do a thought experiment. It is called MML method, Ha ha I just invented that. It is simple. Imagine you sat down for study one hour. You read a chapter, and you take some notes, make some connections, remember some important ideas and rise up like a knowledgeable person. If you repeat this process day after day, I am sure you will even get good grades and appreciated an intellectual person by your colleagues. But imagine what happens in the first second of you sat down for study. Is there a meaningful outcome in that second? Probably you have only read half of a sentence. Something like "The foundation of a good paragraph is the topic sentence,". What happens in the next second? You might read the next part of the sentence. "Which expresses the main idea of the paragraph." What happens in the third second? You might take a brief moment to analyze these two seconds which had no meaning, to make a meaning for you. That is how you understand life backwards. We create a meaning out of meaningless seconds retrospectively. The fundamental question to ask here is how can each meaningless second in life, creates a meaning in retrospect. That my friend is the illusion of life. I don't think anybody had answered that question. But there is no need, as watching the process itself is enough to understand ourselves better. So, there is no ultimate way, ultimate guru or ultimate achievement to life, which has only meaningless seconds of observations. Will this stop the terrible search? Only you can answer.

Distance between you and your rules is bigger in the life. We were born into a system called society, with some smaller systems called co-operations. Governments are special kind of cooperation which everyone is a part of it. Whether we like it or not this is how the world function. In these systems there are rules. Such that, in your own office there are rules describing your work. How much you are paid. How many hours you have to work. The rules themselves are not made by you. They were built so the system can run smoothly without any hiccups. And the benefit of your work goes to the owners of the system called shareholders. Do you really think rules made not by you, are purely for the benefit of you? It feels like a scam to me. Governments are just regulatory bodies just to make sure these systems do not scam you only a little. So that you do not get exhausted and collapse. If that is otherwise would happen if let them run without any regulation. And this is what happens in other places like in a dictatorship. So, the gap between you and rules that you follow is what limits your freedom. This is why you feel drained after work each and every day. Because you have been scammed day after day. Some people never even realize they are being scammed. Some people know, but they see no way out. Some people, especially smart ones are just paid enough; to keep them shut so they do not raise their voice and guide others to a riot. We are slaves of our systems. A system Who is not - serial killers, monks and entrepreneurs live by their own rules. If you think who are not living by other rules, you come across these special categories. Like Monks and serial killers. Monks, know the stupid rules, and they walk away from "All systems". They even change their names, when they work out of formal life so, anyone from these former systems even do not recognize. And the rules they follow are just to keep them far away from society. Within this framework They are free from rules made by others but live a life with rules made by themselves. Not everyone is brave to become a monk. As it is a journey of a lion. A serial killer is another one. They live by their own rules. Remember Anton Chigurh in No country for old men? He is a good example of living by own rules. But as these people are harmful to others, and destroyers of the smooth functioning of scamming systems, they will be actively hunted and eliminated. So, a rational person would not take this path for freedom. The way out, creating my own systems So, is there a way out? Is there a way to reduce the gap between me and my rules other than being a monk or a serial killer? As you can see, for that to happen, I have to build my own system inside a bigger system called country. I cannot be totally free as I have to follow general rules, But, I can create my own system to reap benefits. This is extremely hard and extremely difficult. As I have to be extremely creative, talented and outsmart all the other system owners, who use army of resources, paid workers computers and money to either replicate your system or buy yours if you ever built one. Investing is another way, but a regular person would have to work in a regular job for decades long, until they buy out their freedom from investments. Such is the pathetic human system I am living in. The notion of wealth is a positive sum game is not true, until you become the owner of a system. More correctly it becomes positive sum game only when you become wealthy in the first place, as you can co-operate with other owners to double the rate of your scam. Of course I can always walk away.

Intrinsic value of Sunsets. Living on top of a mountain has its own advantages and troubles. Getting clean water, sewage systems, and climbing uphill everyday are troubles. Occasional landslides on nearby hills might scare the shit out of everyone in the household on stormy nights. But, if these troubles are forgotten, the real value comes with sunsets and sunrises. Light will appear on your doorstep one hour before everyone else in the valley. You will get a bird's eye view to the sky free of charge every day, without having to take a flight like a red Bull. Magnificent sunsets will color the sky in almost every evening. I would spend half an hour just watching king size bats flying over the river while the background of the evening sky slowly changes its color from yellow to purple over a tinge of orange. Can you give a value to such a human experience? It does not feel important when I am facing the wind over the mountain, but surely, it has profound meaning and value when I write about it on the paper. How is that even possible. Sunset Intrinsic value of Gold. What is common to sunsets and gold? I can only give you thousand differences. Sunsets, are on the sky, seen with eyes and intangible. But gold is on the ground, again seen with eyes, reflecting light, but tangible and heavy. Gold is considered valuable by many, except rare few individuals in corners of the world who do not have contacts with wide human society, or individuals who seek the truth of life and understood how things are valued in the first place. Consider where the value of Gold comes from. It is mainly not by its use, as we use gold in day-to-day life vary rarely. Its value lies in its scarcity and the social agreement on its value. So, gold itself represent value, on its own without any adjunct. It can replace money when there is a recession and inflation, as Money will be abundant and useless in such occasions. Now consider the following quote. Gold has a price because people agree upon it. Sunset needs no agreement to be beautiful. When I first read the quote, It went "Hmmmm,, that cannot be true. Something is missing." I agreed with the first half of it instantly, that the Gold has a price because people agree upon it. But the second part makes no sense. "Does sunsets need no agreement to be beautiful?" It seems wrong. Sunsets do need agreement for it to be beautiful. It is not a social agreement. Sunset needs an agreement with yourself. You must judge it beautiful, after watching it for some time. It seems everything else we value in our whole life, day in day out, needs our agreement to it is valuable or not. Some people can value roses, over sunsets. Some can value professional life over family life. Some can value art while others value science. Not anyone is wrong, not anyone is right. These are just judgements of our own mind. You will know this only when you stare at your mind what is happening all day. Truth is sunsets are as valueless (has no intrinsic value) as gold when considered without the consciousness to judge it otherwise. If you do not believe me, ask a monkey.

What is a Mandala? Mandala is a geometric pattern which radiates outwards from a center. There are inner patterns outer patterns and boundary. It is found mainly in eastern religious traditions, representing individual or core ideas relating to broader perspective of the universe. As with everything else, we see more and more spread of these ideas over variety of cultures lately and nowadays you will find no designer who knows nothing about mandalas. But traditionally philosophers were more interested in these patterns including Carl Jung who famously used the mandala as a symbol in his psychological work. He considered spontaneously produced circular patterns potentially expressive of the self and psychological integration. Mandala What is a system? A modern building. A system is a collection with interactions of its components. Human body, a modern bridge or a skyscraper, a bicycle, an ecosystem can be considered as systems. The more fundamental component of a system is not only its individual parts, but the way the interact with each other. Once built a system can function with minimal maintenance, and interactions with outside. Sometimes they are so self-sustainable, that there is almost no interactions with the world. Consider a terrarium a closed ecosystem, where only little bit of sunlight necessary for it to sustain life. How to use a mandala technique? in achieving goals. Combining these two ideas of a mandala and system, you have a powerful technique to achieve your life goals. Achieving a goal is not about the goal itself but building a system around it considering all the facts. This system, if built comprehensively enough there is no way it is failed. Almost impossible. Consider you are going to build a skyscraper. If it to collapse in 10 years what a catastrophe right? So, engineers, calculate and measure the strength of every steel bar and every bolt nut and every gush of wind, and built it so it can withstand ten times of a gale. Similarly, if you have thought carefully about every little change your life should have to achieve your goal, then there is minimal risk of failure. Using mandala Let's say you want to get good grades this semester exam. You may thing, doing one or two things will do it for you. Wrong! getting good grades is not about waking up early every day or studying in the library every day. It is about at least 100 small steps that you do daily without fail to reach that goal, from drinking plenty of water and doing little bit of walk in the afternoon, to having good sleep. It is about everything, including what you are doing when you have been to a party with your friends. To show you an example by creating a mandala draw a 3x3 grid. In the middle write down your goal in the periphery, write things you need to achieve to get to your goal. This will include 8 pre-requisites. And expand this grid to 9x9 grid. Now find and write what 8 things you need to do to achieve 8 things you previously mentioned in the inner circle. At the end of this exercise, you will end up with 64 things to do before even thinking about achieving your goal. Trust me I used this and it worked. I have been struggling to wake up early morning even romanticizing about it for a long time. And I did not know there were about 64 things to do to become an early riser. I can give you few ideas, on how I used mandala technique to build a system to get up early. Perhaps better would be you doing it practically yourself, as your goals and 64 things you do can be markedly different from mine. And remember these are not strict, but dynamic over time, you can adjust and adapt. Good luck with your mandala. Mandala technique to build system. Example Getting up Early. Inner circle 8 Prerequisites. Sleep at 9 Morning routine Good sleep Mindset and Identity Failure and backup Plan Tracking system Motivation to wake up Energy level and Food Outer Circle Prerequisites Sleep at 9 needs. Prepare bet at 8 Relaxation meditation Stopping social media and scrolling at 8 On bet at 8.50 Brush and wash Dinner finished by 8.30 Keep alarm fruit and water by the working desk Lights off at 9 Good sleep needs.. comfortable and tidy bed.. pee before bed.. phone on the table.. mental mapping of the day etc. etc..

Where is water? I went through the keynote address by David foster Wallace, yet again. As, it is eye opening and life changing to many. Yet, one thing I do not understand is the strange behavior of the mind. It seems David had gained a thorough knowledge about life through his thinking and writing about life the way he sees it. Yet he had ended his life with suicide at age 46, it seem paradoxical. Not only him, many creative people with deep understanding about themselves have taken a similar route in life. Probably these are just exaggerated versions of tragic stories that my own mind creates. This time after listening to his lecture, I gathered the core idea of his speech, "Where is water" And this article is about my views about that. Default setting can lead to frustration Default human setting. In his speech, Wallace discusses about "Default human setting" which is to consider themselves as the center of the world. It seems not only humans but this is the default setting of all living things. Consider a tree. It seems a tree also has a subjective experience of the world that it also engages in a battle and a race against other trees for sunlight and air. And it is obvious trees, use tactics, some are cunning and brutal, like parasite trees living on other trees and carnivorous adaptations to kill animals for their own benefit. So, "I am the absolute center of the world is the default human setting". And that is good for survival. That is even good for human species. Imagine all of us were self-aware and we turned off our default setting. And we started caring for shit around the world than ourselves. We cared for the environment, we cared for our children more than us, we cared for plants and animals. Then, who is going to build us cars, and AC and phones, and rockets? We do need selfish greed and default setting to flourish as a society. Otherwise, we would just be a peaceful group of individuals who die, without ever reproducing. Turning off the default setting. - I am not the absolute center of the world So, the turning off the default setting of the mind is not for everyone. As it can have deadly consequences, as given by example by Wallace himself. It is okay to ignore the reality of things and not to consider the other persons perspective (ignorance is a bliss), or the universal perspective of things and just interact with your own deluded version of the world, if that is what it means to live a happy and healthy life filled with years of joy and stressful work. However, Ludwig Borne once quoted "Sometimes losing an illusion is the price of gaining truth". I do not want to think that illusion is my own reality. Maybe I will reconsider other people's perspectives when I have lived a happy and perfect prosperous life, during my 7th decade, so I have nothing to lose anyway. Then I will turn off my default setting before nature gets to it first.

Academic Forums. Have you ever been to one? I have on many occasions, where highly professional individuals gather to discuss current future and past developments of a specific field. It could be computer science, fiction, medicine or mechanical engineering. Often these places are largely crowded by serious as well as mischievous people who call themselves professionals forgetting the fact that it's just a cohort from the society, perhaps a little bit above average IQ than the rest of the population. Often there will be screens, displaying articles, conference rooms to present papers, and dinner parties, that everyone wear ties, except ladies. They do perform an important function of keeping a bunch of nerds interested in their so-called profession, by giving them opportunity to socialize in such events. And I can clearly see, some elderly men and women, who have spent their entire lives on profession, accumulate lot of attention in such societies, but when they step out of it, just becomes old empty individuals. I am not at all against professional forums. But I feel there is strong opportunity for improvement. Academic Forum Being too formal I always feel these forums are too formal. It doesn't have to be a physical forum. Recently I joined some philosophical groups online and posted some ideas of mine, about various things I observe in life. Just in raw fashion. Acceptance and discussions which followed showed me that general public who knows nothing about philosophy are curious and raised questions so there had been fruitful discussions. But intellectuals just start attacking, like they have seen weed in their beautifully arranged rows of vegetables in their plot. They could not tolerate a stupid question, not just for a one minute of it, as when the ego that they built reading philosophical books of others had made them heavy, to go to a battle. Similar happens in academic forums too. It is a place for people who already shine to shine, and even suppress the voice of novelty, although latter is not the objective by definition. There is no atmosphere like in a bar, where you can open up to bartender drunk in the middle of the night and tell all the stupid things you have been doing in your professional life and discuss. Instead of ties and coats, I would like to see occasional people with big hearts in these forums. These idiots do not even know that all their movements happen due to a paycheck signed by some billionaire who harvest their brain capacity. Being too narrow The other problem I see is these forums being too narrow. As professionals have spent significant amount of their time on studying things that they are supposed to study rather than their natural interests, they have developed a tunnel vision. Like horses with blinkers, they can only see the way forward in a narrow field. But innovation and creativity that demand in such high-end professional forums ask for novelty of ideas, new hypothesis etc. Where do they come from? How can acquire such vision for future? I think the key is in diversifying knowledge to other domains. Lawyers do not know what doctors doing, Doctors do not know what mechanical engineers doing, Engineers do not know what farmers doing, and everyone do not know what politicians doing. We learnt about everything when we were in primary school. About fire fighters, pilots, mathematics, geography. But now everyone we associate are just professionals in just one specific subject, stuck in their own heads, with a bunch of academic articles and research papers. How boring it is to be such a person? I would rather walk on a road and speak with a random stranger to kill my boredom in a professional forum and see what real humans are doing nowadays on beaches. Do they still gather around at nights and play with their kids? next -> becoming a polymath

Disclaimer : This article discusses, death, 9/11, unnatural death Why language comes before science? Really? Do I have to reason this out? What did you do before all the math and Ven diagrams and valuations? Did you not start babbling words back and forth with your mom still being unable to stand up in your two feet? But, halfway through high school everyone forgets, that language comes before science, as all the aspiring careers are opened up only for students of science and mathematics. Halfway down the line we always forget, why and why we become so called scientists and tech nerds in the Silicon Valley, to be bathed in a billion dollars in a bathing tab in a private property in a Malibu Manson? Nah... That is not worth it. The real reason is just because we loved stories from the day 1 of your speaking of a full sentence. It may have started with sweet lies from your parent's mouth, and sweet babbles from yours. But our own narratives have brought values to what we see in so called "reality" and we forget the power of words possess the ability to do a proper valuation. Why do you think, when IPO hits the stock market, they choose the best timing, best timing when their popularity is maximum backed by stories woven by news agents and stockbrokers? When a share is priced at 10 dollars, a nice story can sell it to 17 doubling the margin of your profit, on your positions. When one with the good story makes the profit, the one who do not know the importance of language will fall victim to it. 9/11 memorial @ ground 0 9/11 happening everyday What if I say that there is 9/11 attack happens in each and every day, selectively killing people of age 5-35 years. The leading cause of death in this group of people is Road traffic accidents. 3500 dies all around the world each and every day. That is since 2021 9/11 attack similar incident of that scale had been happening ending innocent lives due to reckless driving and unsafe conditions in transport. What war have we initiated to tackle this problem? You might say that everyone who was born have to die somehow. So, in this notion of the story we can consider 2900 deaths happened on the 9/11 to a leap year deaths from RTA and not initiate a war. But we wouldn't, and we cannot, as the stories fabricated by the media and politicians about patriotism and heroism are more affected if we do not take action against our enemy. In RTA, enemy is not as visible as 9/11, and it is the system itself is at fault. Avoiding unnatural death. I can give you a list, in 2024 alone 196488 people died in USA alone from unintentional causes. (not natural death) and placing this as 3rd leading cause of death overall. Poisoning, RTA, Falls, drowning. How ignorant we can be to let ourselves to slip our own footage on life and tragically end it early. Maybe we should write more stories about falls and drownings and include them in our novels and newspapers more often, so necessary awareness is there implanted in teenage brains of future generations from early life, in parallel with heroism and patriotism that we are willing to kill each other for. So, next time when we are at work, and on vacation, and driving, lets be extra careful to stick to safety rules and prevent some 9/11s happening, as governments do not care about individual lives.

What is uncertainty principle? Have you ever listened to Stromae singing about uncertainty principle, in a song, in French. That may be not the real Uncertainty principle taught in the Book by Richard Fynman (the physicist). According to Latter genius, uncertainty principle lies at the heart of the quantum mechanics, which says, there is a limit to the precision that some paired physical phenomena can be known, such as position and momentum of a particle, when velocity is measured more accurately the accuracy of the position deteriorates. The credit of explaining this uncertainty principle goes to German physicist Werner Heisenberg, and such pairs of pairs of measurement in a quantum system are called complementary pairs or canonically conjugate variables. Uncertainity What are quantum systems? Natural question someone should ask then is what is a quantum system? Basically, these are systems where quantum mechanics govern the behavior, such as individual or few atoms together, yet considering the fact that everything seems to be made of atoms including 36 trillion cells of your body, everyone and everything tangible and intangible are a quantum system if considered in the minute scale. So, at the core of human and every animal and every living and nonliving thing there is uncertainty at the microscopic level. Isn't it amazing to know that these individual uncertainties when added together provide an answer which is called a "human" who lasts 80 years and a "Sun" which lasts billions of years. But there is a problem. Still at the macroscopic level, things may not add up when we consider the possibilities and "certainties" This is where wisdom of modern genius Stromae comes handy, basically he sings about human experience of the uncertainty principle, if you do not agree read the lyrics. Alors on Danse Who says study says work Who says work says money Who says money says spend Who says credit says debt Who says debt says bailiff Yes says you're in deep shit Who says love says kids Says "til death do us apart" and says divorce Who says loved ones says mourning Because problems never come alone Who says crisis says world Says famine says third world Who says tired says wake up Still deaf from the day before So we go out to forget all our problems When someone says morning, we automatically assume sunrise, and activity. When someone says marriage, we assume happily ever after. When someone says children, we imagine a playground. But these things are not true, and it is totally imagination, only partially correct, as there are plenty of occasions these are not true. In England we rarely see the sun in the morning, and 40% of Hollywood marriages end up in divorce, and there will be children who carries a gun, and might kill you cold heartedly. Does this mean there is no room for optimism? and that we should sleep on thinking that there is no way we can live a happy healthy life? No, my friend. Look what Stromae the physicist has done with uncertainty of his life. He has sung about it and gone from a mere depressed pizza seller to highly recognized musician in the world. You can say that is a long shot, but never been an impossible one, if you know how to use uncertainty principle for your advantage. Being lucky or being Uncertain? Basically uncertainty principle will say "Nothing lasts forever" So are good things, so are bad things in our lives. To move forward in a positive direction, like a rising price of a stock in the stock market, we have to keep trying each and every day, as uncertainty will kick start at some point, and when it does and when someone called you have been lucky, you can just smile and say no it is uncertainty.

I was fascinated by habits, from early in my life. When there was no internet, I still was learning about them from the books the hard way. I wondered how doing something productive becomes effortless and easy. But paradoxically doing anything productive is hard and tiresome. Specially when initial motivation of novelty is no longer there, the mind will wonder into the next new thing instead of continuely trying to do the same boring task. Piano players Consider playing an instrument. A Piano perhaps. Once you start it may feel amazing at first few days like you are really progressing, but after few weeks the novelty dissapears and it will become daunting to sit infront of the piano. I wonder how many pianos built ever getting played, until they really meet someone with a great enthusiasm. They do not deserve to be rusted in corners of empty rooms and be homes to ants looking for shelter. The problem is piano playing had not made a good habit in the life of its owner. So, how can I make it a one? Think about your life and try to make a list of habits you wished you have. I will give several of mine. I think many of them have the potential to make my life rich in experience. Not the boring version I am currently living, out of habit. Painting routine A list of habits I wish I had a good reading habit. I am still stuck at the page 335 of Moby dick. First chapter of it was amazing. And after a while it has become a painful endevour. An unfinished task that I shoud build up all my courage to complete. If I read five pages per day I shoud have finised it by now. I wish I walked a litte bit more. Nowdays we travel mostly in vehicles. It is fast, it is easy, it is safe. But walking takes effort. I cannot use my phone while walking. Instead I am forced to be immersed in thought and the enviournment I am walking. I could spare some moments with nature if I walked. I wish I had a better morning routine as lately I have seen the life is too noisy. As a millenial I miss the silence that I had before all the technological era. I know it was by default, by design, we spent most of the daytime on top of trees. I thought it was a waste of time, but now I realise those were wonderful times, reflective times, memorable times. I cannot say exactly about the time I have watched youtube or movies. Morinings bring silence, before every machine powers up. I need to be immersed in this rare silence everyday. How about an exercise habit? Writing habit? Money habit? Friendship habit? I am sure you have plenty of ambitions, which can be shaped into a habit. But here is a secret that you may have not realised in the past studying habit. Traditional view of a habit. Yes, I know, there are a million articles on habits, thousand podcasts about habits, and ten thousand and more books on habits. Literally everything about habits you should have known by now, as it is almost forced at us at various stages of life. Remember, the cue, routine reward cycle? Should I give myself a lollipop after an evening walk? Will that make it a habit and make me feel better mentally and physically so I will do another walk tomorrow? I have tried the traditional habit creation methods, which did not work at all. I still struggle to find the flow in life, instead of wasting time on mundane tasks, I can follow more creative persuits. Thinking about habits, I picture them like streaks of repititive things I do, without ever breaking the sequence. But, latelty I found some missing components that I had to add to make a habit work. Think about the following. Creating a coming back habit "A habit, is all about creating a coming back habit, when you break the streak. Not at all about trying to make a perfect streak of." Imagine you crafted a habit, with a perfect cue, perfect routine and a reward of your liking. And you follow this for five days in a row. On the sixth something happens and you are unable to play the piano. And on the seventh, you would feel like a failure. Yet again, as your mind is spiralling down on a path, how terrible you are not being able to maintain the streak of your habbit. And you feel the resistance to do that. But here is the secret. The habit is not "Playing the piano everyday". The habit you should try to establish is "Coming back to playing the piano, yet again". The former habit you are trying to establish is an impossible task. It will never work as there would be plenty of disturbances along the way. But if you keep coming back to your piano everytime you knew you lost a nice streak, that will make a not so perfect streak but a good enough one, that initial resistance will go away and it will be established as a habit. The coming back habit will give you infinite opportunity to come back without ever feeling guilty. I am new to this version of habit formation. I am going to put it to test by incorporating it into my writing and reading. Hope this ends my search of looking for a perfect habit forming technique.

Romanticizing my day: How i did it? Manifestation I have heard of this term before, so called manifestation or imagining your future like it is real, like a mental drama played in the screen of mind, which might become real of viewed often, and believed in it. Can this actually work? I have doubts on this technique just like you. It feels as if its a method for a fool, who like to believe instead of doing actual work which needs to be done, a method for a procastinator, a good way for a couch potato to put off things once again, each night before bed. So, I never tried this, as I had doubts myself about my own future, as a mathematician, I would talk about the future in brobabilities with numbers instead of certainities of a clergyman who have been in a dialogue with god since he started to dwell in a place on the altar. But I have imagined my own future with uncertainities which resurfaced anxieties of the inner demon of myself, as I have lived in fear my whole life of faliure. I was afraid to manifest. What if it became real? That I became a confident young enterprenure or a millioneire who owns a farm and a horseshed or a billioniere who owns a supreme yatch, or a monk who knows everything about himself and the world and realised everything is fake. Am I brave enough to manifest myself without all the uncertainities of life, and be unprepared when the roof of my house start to leak tracles of water when it rains during monsoon, or hit by another cyclone of ditwa? Will that land hold, with a big slide excavated by the last cyclone hit reminding the devastating nature and undevided brutality of it. Would praying for the victims of nepal would prevent flash floods in the rest of the world tomorrow. And what about the manifestations of the wise old people who believed in various gods protection, and what crimes they have done to not to given a second chance at life but be burried under the mud with their manifestations, hidden 12 feet underground in remote himalayan valley of Trushuli. Floods Romanticizing my day. Instead I chose to romantisize my day. Well, can we call it manifestation, I am not sure, as the latter feels like another burden, another tidious task that I have to do each and everyday before my bed, I choose the latter name for it, as it feels like something I would do in the begining of the day, something which is cheerful instead daunting, and something I look forward to with instant gratification, as my mind is fully automated by the digital screens, that I am surrounded with to have just only 10 second attention span. So, yes I feel romanticising is the term and it feels great and fun thing to do everyday. But how? I would say like I have fallen in love, with the day ahead, truely, and honestly, like the heart and feelings of a teenage lover, with pure intention and no evil, towards myself. I would fill my day with self love, with words of forgiveness at the begining for all the wrong doings of my past yesterday self, I would romatisize my work, that good things happen in the bus ride to work, that I would bring about a smile to my anxious coworker who had barely missed making a terrible mistake, which would have cost someone a life, that I will feel relaxed and peceful even looking at the tower of files and four figure inbox with emails, evinced of my habit of procastination. I would romatisize my afternoon to be with a book, a novel perhaps, to dream to be stuck in a boat, a peaquad perhaps, with another Ishmail and a captain Ahab, hunting whales in perilous atlantic sea, after dancing to the music of south indian singers, until I sweat off all my stress hormones accumilated during the day, without ever stepping a foot in a modern gym filled with people with musles but no brains, with eyes but no vision and with ears plugged with constantly crying ear buds. And doze off in the dim lamp light remembering the days of dacades past when I curled up with siblings in a bundle under a candle light, listening to horror ghost story, on the radio, that made a strange sqeak, whenever there was a gush of cold wind through open windows, which gave an open invitaion to intimidating mosquitoes to our sensitive skin which we tried to hide with thin smelly blankets.

History.. Always unreliable, past predictor of future return. Why you should study history Reason 1: To develop common sense to Bullshit When someone says this never has happened before, I say to myself, is that so now? Because history gives examples of so many unexpected occurences of similar nature. It is likely you will find one or two examples from each century! So your bank getting defaulted would not be new news but expected news. Better question to ask would be "well, who gets benefit from this shitty narrative?" Past return does not gurentee future return. This Is true, in two ways. It can be either extraordinary low return or extraordinary high return after long streakes of marginal returns. Optimism and pessimisism can both be ignored when it comes to reality. And it is nobodies fault, just the way of nature of complex systems. History 2: To make my problems feel small. Gratitude is a great way to live a fulfilled life. When the mind is shouting, I need more, I say shut up and study, thinking about all those people who struggled in the past without any footwear, mittens and sunscreen. Even 150 years ago people died of appendicitis and ureteric stones. People have survived concentration camps many have collapsed with exhaution to their factories from lack of food and chronic malnutrition. The few grams of gold I am wearing to my friends wedding has seen human blood enough to fill the entire wedding Hall. That's how many people have been killed over a gram of Gold. So I am greatful to democracy, ethics and law, and all the humans who agreed to live their lives in this human made florishing society. Where I can still live even if my both kidneys failed to work, except a few hours a week seated on a chair in a dialysis unit reading a book of my liking. 3: Learning history let's you live with great people of the past. How boring it is to spend an afternoon with your mediocre friend having dinner. Would you rather walk upto a party where elite intellectual individuals from reknowed universities gather and discuss the universe of atoms and philosophies? How about Benjamin Franklin, Neitsche or Thales of Mellitus? It might be interesting experience than supressing the reality with some ethnol. Maybe you should take a walk on vineyards of belgium, while looking at pictures of ruined churches after world war 2. All this can be done if you just started getting curious about the history. I am sure you wouldn't understand what they speak. But that's not totally the point. You can just brigten up your life a little bit more if you just grasp few ideas from past. 4: To understand reality is nothing but a story. A civilisation is nothing but a story with an enormous budget. So is patriotism. Borders of a country, Nationality, is just another story taught us so we do not try anything stupid. I am not saying these things are not benificial for survival of the individual and everyone else. Yet it doesnt change the fact it is indeed a fabricated story that we constantly change over time. Time and time over we have seen individuals rise over entire nations and change their will for patriotism. Extend boundries, drag them into wars, and sacrefice with their lives for a great cause. But as it seem such any cause that any man ever died for is just another fabricated lie. You would never know how stupid human beings have been, until you make a habit of studying human history. 5: To understand reality is dynamic Change is at the heart of everything. Even reality. When we study history we can see most of the things we believed to be true is just partially correct. As more evidence accumilates, other than giving more power it gives us more opportunity to shape the reality. If what we believed to be true 500 years ago has mostly been proven wrong today, think about in 500 years in the future. If every catastrophy which can happen between today and then excluded we can safetely conclude that future man would laugh at us the way we laugh at men who worshipped trees 500 years ago. Maybe the way is not to chase another truth, but to understand the ending of this forever chase of truth in human mind.