I was looking for my past the other day. I couldn't find it anywhere. I had memories of past. And other than that, there was nothing. Where is your past? Have you seen it lately?
When I think about past, hardly I find any fanciful memories. Hardly any happiness retains from the past. Do you have the same problem? Let's understand this phenomenon with an example. Why we can't savor happiness from past experience.
Happy memories.
Imagine you had a great dinner last Sunday with a bunch of your friends. There was music, there were plenty of fresh food. There were great people whom you've met for the first time, and stories and everything you can imagine in a great party. Even the skies were clear, and weather was excellent. Like in a movie. If you haven't been to a party imagine a party in a movie. Imagine it was Summer Tomorrowland 2024, that you have been to. There was this great DJ music all around the night, with surrounded by thousands and thousands of energetic people. That is a once in a lifetime experience.
Or if you are an introvert like me, you can imagine some quite time you had. Some far away hiking trail you have been to with your lonely self. With your backpack filled with essentials you go far away from the society and be closest to the nature. I can remember Once we went to a magical village in the middle of a jungle nowhere, even the jeeps had hard time reaching there due to so, damaged roads. We had two days to be in this village, just a few of my closest friends and plenty of nature and plenty of solidarity. The mountain range which surrounded the village provided Cristle clear streams with plenty of natural pools and water slides. You could drink water without any remorse as the pollution had not seen the valley ever since it was covered with the lush green forest. Do you know how I know it? Because I have been there and felt it. You would not believe that I did not remember my stressful job for a second of it. Not for a blink of a time I was stressed, and it felt like the barrier in the brain is no longer there that you feel like the nature itself. There was nothing to hide, nothing to protect. Such a pure experience. Imagine you had a similar happy experience, maybe with your partner, may be with your children, maybe with your parents or maybe alone.
Replicas of mind?
Now, back in the busy world when I think about it, I can recall what it felt like to be there. But the problem is that this is not the exact experience I had. I can imagine closing my eyes and being there, but my mind know it is just my imagination with my memory creating a new experience inside the room. When we recall some experience from the past that is not the exact experience, it is like a modeled replica of something. We can Understand this phenomenon with some art.
Imagine you have been to see a famous art gallery, where there was the Portrait of the Madame Reclaimer, or you have just seen the Fifteen sunflowers in a Vass by Van Gough. How much do you think these paintings worth? In millions, right? But what about a replica. A replica of these paintings would look the same would even feel the same, but you can just own one for few hundred dollars, right?
Why I feel sad about happy memories?
Similarly, when we think about those past experiences, we had in the comfort of our home, they are not the same. They are only some cheap replicas made by our minds at this moment of time. So, essentially what happens is there will be a Gap created between these two. And often my mind is conscious about the lost value. Meaning my mind know, that this is not the real experience. So, I cannot find happiness when I think of such a memory, only sadness as my mind compares this vivid experience to the current situation I am in. And of course, it is painful when I think back about those good times I had. It is Suttle but it is kind of a small pain inside that I am not feeling that great currently. This doesn't happen of course if you are having better experience at this exact moment, however that is not the case most of the time.
I am not complaining that this is bad. As if you think rationally this quality of mind is also doing good for me as I am able to forget about bad past experiences. We all have terrible experiences from the past. Imagine whenever you are reminded of a bad past experience that you feel the same dreadful trap again and again. It would become a horror dream, isn't it? This is what happens to some sensitive individuals in a phenomenon called, post-traumatic stress disorder. They experience the same tragic over and over again, which is not a cheap replica at all. And they would need help from a therapist to overcome these.
What is my past?
If we get back to the question now, we can try to answer what is my past? It seems what we see as memory is a cheap replica of past experience which is happening now. So, where is past? Is it in books? Is it in photos you have taken? Is it in videos that you captured?
It seems not. The past seems to be destroyed moment by moment giving rise to a new continuation of the reality. There is not a drop of past you will find even if you look for it a thousand years. And the reality is the past is best described as an illusion of mind.
Does this mean that we should forget about the past?
It does not. Even if you tried you would not be able to forget, meaning, you will get these replicas from the past from time to time every day. The day you do not get these, you will be called that you have dementia! So, unless you want to be in a dementia I would suggest, not to worry about these. As these replicas serve the important function in understanding current situation. But what is this moment? Can we really live in now?
Worrying about past.
Inevitably if we truly understand the past. And we do our own experimentation to find out where the past is, we should be able to find out that the past doesn't exit. It is already destroyed. So, worrying about the past which is never going to come back is the most absurd thing a one can do. Having said that I may still regret as the mind often forget the fact that it is useless.
learning from past.
Similarly, when someone talk about learning from the past. It seems a good advice in the first instance. And I suggest asking the question how? How can we learn from something already destroyed and no longer there to see.
Here I will summarize Where is my past?
Whatever past experiences we had is just a cheap replica of our mind which is happening now.
Past cannot be captured in photos, videos or even in memories.
So, worrying about past and learning from past, are things that are good for day to day talking but has no real value in a philosophical world.
Wow 👏👏👏