Waiting for the buses.
I can remember the hours spent in buses. I would wait two hours at the bus stop until a bus. Just standing in front of a crowd always on the move. They walk like ants. Going somewhere, chasing something. I never see a smile on their faces. I did not understand why. Why do these middle aged daily waged crowds never smile while walking? Are they not happy about the freedom they have? They have money they can buy any sweet. They have time, no need to learn anything. They can travel. Why are they not free?
That was a good twenty years ago. Now I understand why. These people have a lot of memories. They are in a constant struggle to keep their hungry mouths full and decaying bodies healthy. They have money but in a constant loop of work in keeping a steady income. Their time to relax to work ratio is not very nice. 2 : 5 maybe even less. The only happiness is the temporary dopamine surge They get turning into Netflix Game of thrones. Most of their teenage dreams are shattered now. And there is no way of turning back. I can put myself in their minds and see why they are not happy.
I look at the hedonist mind instead. Then I see the ones with rich parents and elite parents are not different either. They too end up in despair when their bodies betray their hedonistic lifestyles with diabetes, hypertension and cancer.
The relative dream of life.
So what do they do? They try to preserve life by making offsprings. That is easily provided by nature as the ability to replicate. It seems like a desperate attempt by human consciousness to understand the nature of life. Maybe making life multiplanetary and preserving it as long as possible is the solution. This is why Populations grow at times of stress.
I wish I were an idiot, so I do not realise the relative dream of life. So I can be blessed for being ignorant about the failed attempt of my Forefathers. Obviously I am the living example of their failure. No, not the triumph. If they did understand the nature of life I am sure there would be no me. Then I question myself, am I not geared to do the same? Same boring path of adding some more consciousness to the same river, and hoping they would find solutions when they get flabbergasted by the happenings of life. What can I do today to make sure that the same mistake is not repeated again?
Maybe the answer is in the selfishness. Maybe answers are in the stars or in 42. If I am an idiot, it would have been easy. I could cash some dollars and spend them on travelling. Eat from McDonalds until I get metabolic syndrome. Yet it doesn't happen that way. As like anything else, I have no choice over intelligence as well. Just like the height, skin color and nationality.
Trains and souls.
I hear the train passing over the old rails. Making a noise which disturbs the sound of buses. I did not see it. But I know it's a train. Maybe there was no train and it could be a sound made by a movie played in the background. But the most likely scenario is a real train did pass. Just like myself. I have heard a lot of people saying things about myself and I believe in this now. I haven't seen myself. In a mirror I see a reflection of something. I can make it do things, but souls are not reflected in mirrors. These things called thoughts which arise are the only reflections which makes me know about myself. And I see I have no control over what it thinks about next. Just like Bob Dylan said. It's like magic. Like the universe chose what I am going to think next, put it exactly at the right time. Is it about the crows, buses or crickets?
But I see why those people were not happy. They were worried about something that the universe has done. A thought that they had in the past. But they chose responsibility for a thought that they haven't even seen, for that and chose to feed it with more thoughts. They do not see what's happening in their minds right now. And they do not try to find out. Just letting the generations old traditions dictate what they do. Maybe the universe is not ready for them to know the truth.
That they are chasing a relative dream
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