Have you ever spent a day without talking? Maybe you have, without knowingly. But my question is having you spent a day without talking, voluntarily? I am sure most of you have not. Not voluntarily, not with full awareness what is happening. If not, I would suggest you try and following are my observations. I have to warn you that I am a big fat introvert, one of a kind on the extreme edge of the Spectrum, but for someone far from extroverted side would not be able to attempt it. And it doesn't matter, as I have done the experiment, the conclusions still apply for you.
Why have I decided to spend a day in silence?
It was time of stress; I was trying to tackle a tough exam. And I could not waste time, needed some self-discipline. I noticed some of the distractions come and go and I am not even aware of its happening. Hence, I decided, maybe, if I become a silent observer, I can conserve some of my energy for demanding tasks, like doing some studying. Being an introvert, you would understand this is one of our problems. We drain energy talking to others, and my battery needed constant charging, to engage higher order activities. To climb the blooms taxonomy. It was obvious not talking would help.
Rules of self-discipline- art of disappearing in broad daylight
Rules of the game were simple, there were two. I knew I am not going to survive if I stayed silent completely. Obviously If I go completely mute, everyone else would notice. My teachers, my friends, and all my family members would notice. And these caring people will ask and would not stop until I unmute myself. So, I did not want that trouble. I wanted my awareness to sustain itself, like a smooth ride on a roller costar, but without shouting. Hence, I put some rules.
rule 1. I would speak if someone asked me a question but will use minimal essential words.
As you can understand, trying to avoid a question is difficult. I had to answer. But, as per rules I would do it with minimal words. Only the essential ones. But I would try and avoid questioning them back.
rule 2. I would speak only handful of words on the day on my side. (Strictly speaking I decided I would speak only five words.)
Did I survive a day without words?
As you can see, I did survive a day with without words and in silence. Of course, I wouldn't function without any words. And that will not be sustainable. And I can remember, not only I did survive, but my awareness also improved, and I carried on for few months. Although not exactly at times, it helped. I would show you some scenarios to show you how it happened.
If I was hungry, on a normal day, I would ask my mom, 'mom, what is there for eating? I am hungry.' But on this day, I would simply avoid any words. I would go to the kitchen and open the fridge and find something to eat. Just smile at mom and enjoy my meal. Imagine my mom notices me and asked, 'Are you hungry?' I would simply say 'yes'.
And she would say, 'hmm, that plants seem to need some watering'.
In my mind I would notice this is not a question directed at me, just a statement. And I would not give an opinion. I would simply observe and look at thoughts which arise. I would see myself agreeing or disagreeing to her statement in my mind. And that's it. It doesn't go beyond that. I would continue eating. And she may then go on asking 'Shall I make you a cup of tea?'
I would think about the question, and If I wanted a cup of tea, I would say yes, with a smile. And if I needed it later, I would say ' Please mom, give me one at 10'. I wouldn't say 'Can you give me one at 10 moms?' Because that is a question. Former is just a request. The question would trigger her to talk more, like 'why do you want a tea at 10?' But for the previous request she has less chance of replying something other than 'yes, I will'.
As you can see, by this way, I was not using my spared five words for the day. I would save them when something essential comes up. That I had to talk first. Like someone seems to die, If I did not speak like situation. Lol.
And I survived the day! with loads and loads of energy and happiness.
A day without words. How to stay silent - intuitions.
Following are the observations of everyday philosophy I gathered from my days in silence. I would like you to try it on your own when opportunity arises, and life is too boring, it might spice up things inside.
I noticed, when I do not question back, conversations die away. Soon enough and often without other one noticing that it did. Even if it didn't die away, I could go on answering questions with minimal words, but would be fully aware, on what comes out of my mouth, and I would have less regret as these were, essential words, and I am helping someone answering their questions.
I noticed, compared to this, I have wasted my words all other times. I would see, things as they are as mind is not involved in speaking, I would see the thoughts but would not word them out. No opinions, no judgements, but I would be like the water that flows in a river, with all its bends ups and downs.
I noticed, people are happy as long as their questions are answered, and you are smiling. World really do function well even if you speak or not. Just like you have disappeared. And silence will be lingering with you most of the time. And it will benefit the mindfulness as well.
Of course, there would be disadvantages. There will be lot of things that you would need to do yourself, because you cannot ask other people to do the work for you. And there is less chance for a curious mind to ask questions. And sometimes I felt unfair by the people who surrounds me, who are caring. Yet, it is worth the experience. Maybe I should do it again.
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