Angry Monster
There is a monster, who is an angry big ugly looking one. He is coming to attack you. When you try to fight back the monster gets stronger and bigger, because it is growing out of your anger. If you continue to fight this monster at some point the monster will destroy you forever. So, how are you going to defeat this?
It is by doing opposite of fighting, you practice kindness, and care, treat the monster with love in heart. The monster will soften each and every kind act and will become a lovely kitten at the end. Harmless being. Good story for a child, right? But exactly this is the kind of story to explain happiness paradox.
Happiness paradox
Let's change the characters of the story.
Let Happiness be -> the victory you get.
Monster be -> the pain you feel trying to acquire the happiness in the process.
Your effort to find happiness -> the effort you put in to defeat the monster.
The more you try to find the happiness, bigger the monster will become, and you will feel more pain, and farther the victory will be. That is the essence of the happiness paradox. It is not an uncommon thing to lose happiness in the battle of per suiting it. And it happens too often. This can be a reason more and more people are unhappy. Imagine yourself trying to get your salary increased this year, trying hard to impress your boss, and failing at the end. Or you fail your exam after months of hard work. How can we overcome such situations in life. Overall, how can be happy and content with our own life?
So how can we get over with the problem?
Solution to a happy life.
Not surprisingly the answer lies in our little Monster story itself. If you stop the fighting with the monster, you will get the victory at the end. Hence, less you search for it, more you will have it. As happiness looks like a byproduct of a virtuous life.
Happiness is a byproduct of a virtuous life. This is a root principle of Stoicism. For Stoics, living a virtuous life filled with wisdom, courage, justice and Temperence, will lead to happiness itself. Instead trying to tackle with the monster, they try to weaken the monster.
In summary what Can you do?
Only thing according to the happiness paradox, we can do is not focus on happiness itself when we do something.
Instead, we can focus on peace, relaxation, serving others, gratitude etc. This will lead to happiness itself at the end.
I will end the article with another story, which I read in a book by Ven. Ajahn Brahm.
In a war, there was a commander who had a small platoon under his command. Battled by the long marches and tiredness, they had penetrated deep inside the enemy territory. One morning, as they camped inside a forest, his spotters came up with a very bad news, that they were surrounded by a big army of the enemy of several thousand of them, heavily equipped. It meant they were doomed. Commander looked at the worried faces of all his men. They were prepared to fight, and die for their country, Yet the wise commander had other plans. He gathered all men and asked them to prepare some tea and have breakfast. And they did it in silence. And half an hour later, spotters came back again, and said that enemy just marched without spotting them. At least, they didn't die in a futile battle on that day and some of them lived to see the end of war and go home.
Thank you for reading: Happiness paradox and Stoicism- Story of the Angry monster
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