Fire Benders and anger management, Monte Cristo wisdom

Following article discuss, philosophical fictional and mindfulness approach in anger management. However, this does not provide professional opinion on controlling anger, only personal perspective.

Destructive power of anger and fire Benders and Diablo response.

Anger has destructive fire. So, this is often compared to a fire. Infact this is not a bad comparison at all, just like a fire, anger when it is present, makes the blood boil inside its own bucket, and faces go red, while ears start to burn hair like the rapidly spreading Palisade fire. Even firefighters would not be able to contain such a fire, without the help of nature. And this can be expected from every anger that we have. And trying to control anger is like learning to bend fire. We can appreciate how much similarity this does have with fire benders in popular movies.

If you have watched Suicide Squad 2016, Diablo is a character who has special power of making a fire. Yet he lacks the needed power to control his own anger. So, according to the plot, once when he was in rage with his wife, he burned everything down killing his beloved. And only when the anger is subsided, he comes to consciousness and decide never to use the fire again. Similarly, when anger is there, we almost always lose our general calmness, and things often can go out of hand. And it is uncommon for us to realize later that we have created more harm with anger than the initial cause of this.

Anger is like fire :https://unsplash.com/@tobbes_rd

Road Rage and mindfulness

Today while I was driving, the car behind me honked several times and all of a sudden, the driver was shouting to me, for driving slowly and blocking the road. Suddenly out of nowhere I saw anger creeped in, apparently to be blamed for no reason! I maybe driving slowly, but there was some traffic, and there was no way anyone else could drive faster. I could feel my blood boiling and ears turning red. If this guy came to a fight I would have fight till death in rage. I know it is bad. I know it is stupid to be angry. Then with all the wisdom I have gained through writing this blog kicked in. And I observed my anger like it is just another mental object. I did not claim it to be mine. Within seconds it was gone, and I was being rational again. I even did not think about the guy 100 meters beyond the incident, it disappeared that fast without any trace. And that was an achievement, as I have seen people keep carrying road rage, longer than that, even miles and bring it home.

It became funny when after few miles, when I stopped for gas, the same guy was filling his car just Infront of me. I got down, just to show him that I was aware, and didn't even speak a word, didn't even look at him. I am sure, his mind was racing to start an ugly word exchange. I just smiled with the cashier and kept my calmness throughout. That was easy anyway as My angry hormones were all gone and I am an introvert anyway. I think it gave him an opportunity to react and control his anger as well. Have you ever been in a road rage?

rage :https://unsplash.com/@abhi05

The count of Monte Cristo.

I was a big fan of the novel. Although I cannot remember exact details, I used to read how Monte Cristo was plotted against by his enemies into prison. And he came back strong, as a wealthy Count, with years of suffering behind his back, now as a real gentleman. And he kept his anger hidden inside him, to conduct like a true nobleman, without making any suspicion in his enemy's mind. And took the chance of revenge when they were doomed by their own greed lured by him. I am sure not only me, but everyone also who read the novel and appreciated they might have done the same. They themselves becomes the count and be the judge of the enemies. And this is the third way to use anger. But can we say this is eviler than the first one?

Three ways of anger management and pros and cons of each

So far, we discussed three methods to respond anger.

One is diablo way - Or to burn everything down by letting it lose then and there.

Second is Monte Cristo way - Or to keep it hidden, control our conduct and strike back hard at everyone responsible when it is possible without any self-harm.

Third is mindfulness way - To identify and acknowledge anger is another mental object and, it too will pass. Like all other mental objects, it only prevails as long as you are feeding with firewood, of some similar thoughts.

I would not say it is easy to be angry. Often it is the opposite. It is hard to be angry and destroy everything, it takes time effort and cost a lot, physically and mentally. The easiest and the most effective method is the third. Which is acknowledging and letting it go. No need to suppress but being aware is enough. If we are aware when it is small, there is no chance for it to grow into a massive destructive fire.

Countess :https://unsplash.com/@clevelandart

What about Monte Cristo? That is real difficult question to answer and its philosophical.

But, as I have discussed earlier, in the article Cockroach ethics, I would say it is still not necessary to crush cockroaches. Not because it is a sin and we will be dragged to the hell, there is no evidence so far for that. But because it is unnecessary. As longer we hold onto fire, no matter how small it is, it is going to burn ourselves down, either tissues or souls. Hence, let the mindfulness rain on anger when it is there. Hopefully it will benefit in the long run.