It took some courage for the leaf.
Who happened to be yellow in a green park.
When Neighbours laugh with a twitch in its heart
It pushed through the bush in shadows un-noticed.
I can still remember when I found out that I was an introvert. All my life I have felt Alean in a world full of joy and happenings. I had minimal friends, and often I would not go out on adventures. I would rather spend whole my afternoons on a tree looking at grazing cows on a barren field. And even in university when I was forced to be in a function, I would feel awkward and had to spend hours about thinking how to avoid this. I would rather live in a world of thoughts and dreams than the reality. And I did not know why.
One day someone dearest to me showed a post, about introverts. I read it, initially I started to laugh. I laughed out so loved and after a minute of a laugh, It slowly started to turn to a cry. I cried and cried louder than I laughed. Like all those years I wanted to be found. Like I found answers to a question I have been looking for all those years wondering why? If you felt as such, I suggest you would be an introvert too.
Have you ever known these bell-shaped curves of biology? Everything seems to be in a bell-shaped Normal distribution in biology. From blood pressures to color of skin to intelligence. Often so, or lesser known there are outliers. Which are not present on the even extreme edges of this normal distribution. Such outliers are called fat tailed distributions. And I felt like I was in such a fat tail, so separated from the society that I would never make it through till I graduated. Yet I did.
Looking back at introverts following is a list of characteristics to look for if you are an introvert. So, it is a spectrum, and you may find one or two are describing your characteristics anyway. Later I will give some of my personal opinions of conduct. I would not say these are backed by scientific facts.
Characteristics of introverts.
Preference for Solitude: Introverts often enjoy spending time alone and may use this time to engage in activities like reading, writing, or other hobbies that allow for deep thought and reflection. Such solitude usually charges the battery of the introvert. Preference for Silence is natural for introverts.
Thoughtful and Reflective: They tend to be introspective, spending time considering their own thoughts and feelings. So, introverts are usually slow thinkers and slow learners. But often this leads to lot of interruption from other aspects of the brain leading to Creativity - Diffuse thinking skills are natural.
Sensitivity to External Stimuli: Introverts may be more affected by sensory input such as noise, light, and crowds, which can be overwhelming for them. And usually in such social places they lose their energy. Often, they would be poor at keeping lot of relationships instead few of them. (Why I can't remember names)
Deliberate Decision-Makers: They usually take their time to think through decisions and weigh all options before coming to a conclusion.
Creativity and Imagination: Many introverts have a rich inner world and can be quite creative, often excelling in artistic pursuits. Often creativity is natural, and for artists being away from the society helps in creation most of the time. They are not only artists, sometimes, mathematicians, and programmers. They will be found in corners of the workplace most of the time, hiding from others.
I will give you an example. When there is a group of people in the workplace or otherwise having a discussion about some nice places or vacation, I never find anything I have to contribute to the discussion. I really do not have opinion on anything from food to clothing. But, if you have read about this blog, you would find that I have really discussed about from food and beverages to travel and mindfulness. So, it never occurred to me that something should be told about in those situations, and I fail miserably to contribute to the conversation. But occasionally I talk with people individually, about the general things of life. Some, deeper understandings, even emotional level. Such discussions can sometimes I have done for hours with my friends, even strangers. So, that looks abnormal in first instance. But now I am used to it and learning how to handle the loneliness and disappointments I get on such social occasions.
So, I am an introvert, what is now?
Following is a list of common problems Introverts face and how to overcome them.
The List of introvert problems is not exhaustive. Comment me yours and I will try to answer If I have faced such.
Facing Misconceptions of Rudeness or Aloofness:
As you prefer solitude, you are going to be prejudiced and identified as rude and aloof sometimes. Now this is becoming less and less as people are more aware of presence of extreme introverts.
Overcoming Strategy: It is sometimes helpful to explain yourself as an introvert at some individual level. Or you can get one of your friends to express the fact on behalf of yourself. And most common strategy I have used is to not to give a xxxx. Sometimes words are not going to help, and it can worsen the situation. You have to understand yourself and if it is unavoidable trying to change anything is not going to help. So, just be proud about yourself thinking that you are unique and rare in an otherwise noisy world.
Dealing With Exhaustion from Overstimulation
Introverts can become easily overstimulated by external environments, especially social situations.
Overcoming Strategy: Balance social interactions with alone time. Find fewer stimulating environments to recharge your energy. It is essential you take your social isolation time. Try and explain yourself to your close family that this is what you need to recharge yourself. Not only you but they are also going to suffer otherwise when you are not fully functional and exhausted. Someone truly love you would understand and listen.
Overcoming Lack of Confidence:
Introverts may struggle with confidence, especially in social settings.
Overcoming Strategy: Challenge negative self-talk, practice mindfulness, and gradually build confidence through small interactions. I recently had a chat with one of my co-workers, who is and extremely extroverted person. And I told him because I am an introvert, I do not think anyone would miss me here. That I would disappear unnoticed. Yet, he said, "No, that is not true. Being, silent doesn't mean you are being unnoticed. We do see you from your work, that is important. Your work is being noticed by everyone. Your letters and your presence and your small essential talking is noticed" So, my advice is sometimes there are other ways you can make your presence noticed and being an introvert you know how to do that.
Making Sense of Small Talk:
Introverts find small talk draining and may struggle to engage in it.
Overcoming Strategy: Focus on deeper conversations, ask open-ended questions, and find topics of genuine interest to make small talk more meaningful. My strategy is to use these kinds of deep conversations individually. I talk about things I am interested. Also, I have learned some tips, like other than focusing on my life, asking about their life. Everyone likes to talk about their life. Once they start telling you will find something you can contribute. If you did not, do not worry. It doesn't matter it looked like a newspaper interview, at least you have tried and charge the battery immediately.
Building Relationships:
Forming connections can be challenging for introverts who prefer quality over quantity.
Overcoming Strategy: Texting would help. Writing down gives you time to think it over before it flows from the mouth. But try not to overdo it. Remember physical presence matters. We are good listeners and that is even a rare quality. Empathy is natural. So, few good quality relationships would be enough to live a lifetime of happiness.
Working in Teams:
Introverts may find teamwork draining due to constant interaction.
Overcoming Strategy: I would say introverts are to the society are valuable as a captain of a ship. It is true we would never be captains of ships, but we would be good friends of the captain who comes to ask for help when he is unable to find his way. So be prepared with all your gear in your solitude. Sharpen your knowledge and write it down in your diary. Take a break and understand your role. It will help you to navigate as a team and trust me you will be noticed and you will be writing the logbook yourself about what happened during the journey, when others take time to celebrate on the deck.
Thank you for reading: Being Yellow in a Green Park - introvert problems.
You may also like to read: Root cause of all problems.
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